INFECTION

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OH NOEZ. Fuck. Bored. The only time I remember this. At all.

I don’t know why the good hell I thought Captain Planet was like MacGyver cleaning up pollution. Mullet, perhaps? The inability to differentiate the two childhood relics as the years pass? Whatev. The point of this post, and the tl;dr version is here: Captain Planet sucks.


As you may or may not remember, CUZ IT WAS LAK, SO LONG AGO!!, I was in the process of downloading the entirety of Captain Planet.

Macgyver is awesome. Captain Planet is a fag. He could clean up the planet but noooo, just says ‘call on me when you need me’. Why? WTF are you doing that’s so much more important during your off-time?

Firstly, when I think Mother Earth, I do not for one measily nano-second, think of Whoopie Goldberg. I’m never for a moment actually like, “Oh, I see what you did there.”

Now, I’m watching it and Linka refers to the American as “my sweet Imperialist dog”.. uhh? Then again, Wheeler keeps calling her ‘Ruski Tuski’ or ‘Ruski babe’.. instead of the name calling with your overfake fucking accent, STAB HIM IN THE NUTS AND STFU. And he’ll put your twat on fire before he bleeds out to death. Sounds like a fair exchange.

“Heart”.. isn’t that fucking pathetic? If someone gave me that I’d be like, great, I can finally see what having one is like. Second episode in, the little pansy is whining ‘you’d be so much better without me’.. you know what, you’re probably right, you emo-fuckhead, go slit your wrists and do it right, so you can die.


Watching this is like watching an episode of Inuyasha. What is being seen cannot be unseen not even after seering my eyes out with a molten butter knife. My trainwreck syndrom hasn’t been this bad since ‘Dance Your Pants Off’ or ‘Twilight’.

I can kill myself now, right? Only after destroying the planet, of course. I’ve never wanted to pollute on such a large scale until rewatching this grade-A++++ garbage.

My vague memory of what I liked about it.. shit, I couldn’t really tell you. Just because I know the theme song means blind-devotion to this shit-heap?..

Fuck no! Captain Planet would always get his shit RUINED when Captain Pollution showed up. I think that’s the only thing I remember and might actually keep sifting through 6 goddamn seasons for.

Oh, and the Planeteers can go get ass-fucked in some toxic waste by an oil rig.

Oh fuck me, I suppose I ought to fucking put something on here but if you know me, you know the fucks that I give concerning uh, anything, are none. Forever.

This blog will likely be nothing but ‘oh let’s count how many times she’s put fuck in a post, muchless the whole fucking tumblr itself.. I’ve memorized pi but I doubt I can count that high, sry.’

Verti-go to hell then, asshole!

Totally downloading Captain Planet. Finish already.

I hate this layout. ADD kicking in. Okay, back to leaving this here for the next who knows or cares how long.

Poster-girl for unmotivation signing off.